When Suicide is Your Best and Last Option...

“The best way out is always through…”

Life has a lot of mysteries. Things never unfold themselves all to us from the start. Would it have been revealed, sure many of us would not embark on some adventures. So I am writing this to you, yes you, because your last and best option is suicide! Is that not? Or have you not thought of it yet? I think you had severally. I just but wonder what kept you alive till now; I guess you want to read this piece before you finally end it all. If then, happy reading…

Think for a moment, won’t it solve it all? You just hang that rope up there, or maybe you’ll prefer jumping off the cliff. No that would be too gruesome. Why not try something less noisy, like drinking poison, or shooting up yourself in the head. Amazing option you said. Ok then, I think we are making progress. So after this, I believe all will be over as soon as you close your eyes and take this ‘bold’ step. So you will finally end all your miseries, nothing will ever need to worry you and vice versa again. Oh what a relief! Are you already mesmerizing like I am doing? Good! That means we are on the same page.

If not suicide what else? I don’t think there is any, right? What can get you out of all these issues? Where else could you turn to? Look around, no one is coming for you. I don’t know if you have ever tried this, when in the dream someone is pursuing you and you have ran meters without him going back, you got to a corner and there was no place to run to anymore, as you turn around, this being is still after you. Before you knew it, you are already on the ground with very great fear and trembling and your two hands raised up both for pleas and defense. And alas, a thought just come to you in that dream to shake your head and wake up, just seconds before he arrive and strike you hard, you shake off your head (or the whole body) and wake up in real life, gasping for breath though, but it’s far much better than to be struck by that ugly mysterious thing. This is the picture of suicide, because after it you are ‘free’. Is that correct? Ok.

 Since we have agreed this far, why don’t we move a step closer to our ‘dream’? Do you mind if I may ask; why do you want to do this? No, just be sincere with me, I won’t stop our plans. I just need to know for record purpose. You are tired of everything I hear you say, just tired of living. Well everyone is, or don’t you know? We are all tired of this world; this cruel and insincere phenomenon. Life is not just fair to some of us and I think you are just finding out. If that is true I guess it’s a bit funny. Life is not fair to everyone; you just had your piece of cake. Those who have long finished eating their own shares understand what I’m trying to tell you. Back to our mission, so life is not fair, people in it are not fair; your circumstances are not fair, even God is not fair. Don’t bring God to this? He’s already involved because He created this ‘unfair’ world and everything there in. Psalm 24:1. So we have to include Him in the blame.

Well, since this our little secret conversation might be your last, let me be sincere with you just this once. The world is fair. Now you exclaim, ‘you are one of them!’ I am not one of them. I am your friend, your very good friend. Just that I need to be sincere with you because of this role I’m playing in your soon-to-end life. If you don’t ever want to listen to me again, there is no problem if only you can accept a fact I’m about to tell you. The simple fact is this THERE IS NO REASON IN THIS LIFE WORTH TAKING YOUR OWN LIFE FOR. You heard me right! I beg you just hear me out first. I’m not asking you to desist from the history you intend to make, I am just asking you to see my points after which you can decide what next, and most likely-our mission, unless otherwise. I said it before, there is no reason whatsoever in this life worth taking your own life for. I see you still chuckle, and you said quietly, oh sorry boy, you don’t understand, you have not been there. It might interest you to know that I have gone beyond there. I have fought depression hard for days. I have detached myself to a solitary place several times wishing things never end the way they did. In fact, I just thought of drinking poison before I decide to send you this message. Life is so frustrating. Just a little mistake and a wrong move, you can spend the rest of your life in Jail. I mean the rest of it.

 But have you heard of these set of people-the optimists? Winston Churchill said that these people see opportunity in every difficulty, like this one you are in. Could there be any opportunity in there? Let’s reason together. Could your loss of job, marital failure, death of a loved one, debt, lack of financial stability, engagement gone bad, broken relationship, barreness, have any good thing to offer you. I don’t think so also. With the way things are looking now, we are justified by our judgement, unless a miracle happens. And why can’t it?. Miracle is real unless you don’t believe in it, and if you do not believe in it, youyou shouldn't have nodded when I mentioned the word-miracle!.

My friend, If only you can hang in a bit more, you would believe it can. It is already happening, if not, why are you reading this piece right now? Is that not a miracle? Just trust me on this one alone, miracle is already in progress. What needs to be done now is to locate the finest spot to attract the major one, as you may consider it; the major miracle that will get you out of your misery without you having to kill yourself. Can you remember anyone around you there? None, Ok, I think I know one; the best miracle that would do it for us is YOU. Of course, you are the miracle! Are you surprised, please do not be. You are wonderfully and fearfully made. You are a great person. You are the best of your kind. No one can overcome the thought of suicide but you. You still do not believe. How come I see greatness in you and it’s hard for you to see it in yourself??

My dear friend, you are not as bad as you think. Your world has not crashed that much as you are imagining. Devil is just using a magnifier to view your problems for you. It is not a big deal to your Maker. He made you, He believes in you. He has your best interest at heart. He is passionate about your well being.  Just look again. Is this not you? Think back and remember what you have gone through in the past, if not that you are a miracle, could you have made it through till today. Now you are getting it. The problem here is the fact that you are too focused on today, today that will soon become a history in the next hours. All you need do is to fight. Fight back, fight hard! It’s your life. Pick it up again and live it. Prove to those issues that you are indeed a miracle. Tell them that they are messing with the wrong guy. Get up and get strong. If you can’t overcome this then who can? Your life can’t just be over yet. Eliminate wrong thoughts and wrong people from your life. You know what? In the days to come you will remember today and all you would do is just smile. Try it now, smile. Oh my, you want to cry. Go ahead. Let it out. Let that frustrations out, you will feel better and stronger. There is no need to take your life, that your life is the most precious thing I have ever seen or known. Prove me right!

YOU ARE A MIRACLE, DO NOT LET ANOTHER PERSON TELL YOU OTHERWISE.

Confession: Oh Jesus, I believe in You, I believe that I’m Your master piece, the best of your creation. From today, I chose to see myself as a miracle. I can get through this by Your grace and assistance. I am not defeated. I am not a failure, I might have failed today, but I refuse to remain there. The best resides in me, and it’s coming out soon. Help me in this tiredness of mine and make me the best of myself. Thank you Jesus. Amen.

Written by: Lawrence Akanji