QUALITIES OF A GODLY MATE..

I once had a college professor who told of the most honest funeral sermon he had ever heard. The man who had died was a drunk, a failure as a father, and a miserable husband. Everyone listened intently to the words of the preacher, wondering what he could possibly say that was good about this drunkard. To their surprise, the preacher leaned over the pulpit and spoke directly to the widow. His message to her was clear and simple--“Don’t make the same mistake twice!”

Many of the marriages in the Bible are less than ideal. Sarah, Abraham’s wife, has always struck me as being cranky and bossy. Job’s wife offered little comfort in the midst of his trials. In fact, it might have been considered a blessing for her to have been taken in one of the disasters that wiped out his children and his flocks.

One of the most pathetic marriages in the Old Testament is that of Abigail and her husband Nabal, described in 1 Samuel 25. She was wise and beautiful, while he was harsh and evil (1 Sam. 25:3). As his name indicated, he was a fool (25:25). I doubt that Abigail had much to say in the choice of this man as her husband. The tragedy of this marriage is turned around in the account recorded in 1 Samuel 25, however, for the Lord takes the life of Nabal and Abigail becomes David’s wife.

For the one unfortunate enough to have married a fool, Proverbs offers no promises of an easy life or a quick cure. The assumption throughout the book is that a person must live with his or her mistake in marriage. Divorce is never mentioned as the solution for a foolish decision concerning a mate. The picture painted of such a marriage is deliberately bleak.

One might think that the authors of Proverbs were somewhat cynical about marriage, having much more to say about its dangers than its delights. We must remember, however, that this book was written primarily to young men (“my son,” cf. 1:8; 2:1; 3:1) who had not yet married. One purpose of Proverbs is to urge young men to consider their life’s mate carefully, since the consequences of a wrong choice are both painful and permanent.

Marriage is the norm so far as Proverbs is concerned. The single life is nowhere presented as an alternative (such as Paul does in 1 Corinthians 7). Marriage is viewed as a divine institution, and it is God who gives a man a virtuous wife.

House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers, But a prudent wife is from the Lord (19:14).

A man’s choice of a life’s mate can be his making or his breaking is either a delight or a disaster.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord (18:22).

It is better to live in a desert land, Than with a contentious and vexing woman (21:19).

A constant dripping on a day of steady rain And a contentious woman are alike; He who would restrain her restrains the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand (27:15-16).